Taxes in Japan are fairly straightforward and easy…as long as you go prepared.

I did not.

All I knew is that they have to be done by March 15, and that you can go and get help filing for free, so I walked to the nearest tax office last Friday afternoon, thinking that would be the place to go to do my tax return. +55 for initiative!

There I took a number and waited for about an hour only to be told that the tax offices don’t actually handle the process of filling out of tax returns (申告); I needed to go to a separate tax return help center (申告書作成会場) for that. -11 for the newbie mistake, though it made for a nice long walk at least.

Flier bearing address and useless map in hand, I set off for the help center, making it with half an hour to go before they stopped taking people for the day. Phew! Pro tip: these centers are open from February 16 until March 15, but go sooner rather than later since the closer to the deadline it gets, the busier they become. +464 for getting it done early!

Things to bring with you for a painless tax return experience, unlike Kristin who is a glutton for punishment

• Your total income for the calendar year, before any withheld tax. +1 since I actually had calculated that in advance!
• Withheld tax statements (源泉徴収) from any Japanese companies you’ve been paid by. They should prepare this document for you by mid-February, but email and ask if you haven’t received it by the time you go to file. +2 for each one I had on hand!
• Your My Number card, or at least a photo of it; you need to fill out your My Number on the tax software at the end. Of course, I didn’t know this until I was already in line and noticed a poster that said “BE SURE TO HAVE YOUR MY NUMBER CARD N00B LOL.” +100 to Jeff for coming to my rescue on this one.
• Totals for each category of deductible business expenses. The categories that apply to me are transportation expenses (旅費交通費), communication expenses (通信費), supply expenses (消耗品費), and possibly entertaining expenses (接待交際費), though not this year. It would have been nice to know about these categories in advance, since then I wouldn’t have spent half an hour frantically trying to calculate everything on the spot while the consultant shook his head and lamented that I really should have done this beforehand, echoing my own self-deprecating thoughts… Ah, well. Now I know, and I’ve set up a Google Sheet to keep track of my expenses throughout this year to avoid that special hell next March. If you’d like, you can save a copy of the template for yourself and save yourself flashbacks to a middle-aged man staring at you with deep disappointment while you’re at it. -1 point for each minute of this guy’s life I wasted.
• Totals for non-business-related things like national health insurance that might also be deductible. +39 for being able to show the consultant on my phone!
• Receipts for the abovementioned deductible expenses; the consultants you speak with will want to see proof of payment since they have to basically sign off on it on your paperwork. Preferably printed out and not on just on your phone, as I was oh-so-gently-advised, though if you’re well-organized it really shouldn’t matter. -424242 because I’m sure that’s what my consultant was thinking as he was holding my hand as I staggered blindly through this entire process.
• Your hanko, if you have one. If not, you’ll probably be able to get away with a signature. +12 to me for having it, though I didn’t actually need it…
• Cash or your bank book to pay any owed taxes, unless you’re like me and have been pulled away from your home and kittens on business for literally all of tax season and thensome and GODISQAEVERGOINGTOSTART. If that’s the case, you have to take all the paperwork in the file they give you and mail it with your payment information (which is a separate form in another booklet) to your tax office back home. +1 pity point to me since I had it but, again, didn’t end up needing it. Sigh.

So, if you have everything you actually need, the process is simple: you get in line, you talk with someone and show them all your receipts and numbers so they can make sure you have everything you need, and then you get in another line to sit down and fill out a paper form with someone else who shows you where all the numbers go. That done, you progress to another line for the laptop corner where you input all your info into their software; when you hit the final “submit,” the info from the laptop gets transmitted to a card in your clear file, which you tap to a reader on a printer that spits out a copy for your records and the actual tax form to turn in. Then, I assume, you go turn in your paperwork and pay whatever you owe, but like I mentioned, I couldn’t actually file or pay here in Tokyo since my residence is in Kyoto and I’m trapped in QA purgatory for forever. -9000 for unnecessary table flip.

You can do all of this online, of course, but as this was my first year and I was so obviously utterly clueless, it was worth it to suffer through the awkward agony to get in-person help. And I’m sure things will be further complicated next year since Jeff and I will be married and filing together; and once we buy a house, though that’s several years down the road. +1000 for future planning.

For this year, at least, I’m glad to be done, and I’m sure the tax consultants who helped me on Friday were happy to see me go. +888 as they applauded my exit.

Safe to say my final score is less than stellar, but hopefully you’ll be able to learn from my mistakes. Do you have anything to add that I missed? Leave me a comment, even if it’s just to commiserate the sucky parts of adulting.